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When someone you love passes away, the days that follow can feel overwhelming. Alongside the sadness of the loss, families are often faced with questions they never expected to answer and decisions they never imagined having to make.
Understanding the first steps after a passing can help make the days ahead feel a little more manageable. Taking one step at a time allows families to focus not only on the practical responsibilities that come with a loss, but also on supporting one another and honoring the life of the person they love. At Green Hills, we believe no family should have to walk this path alone, and our team is here to help carry the load whenever you’re ready.
Give Yourself Permission to Pause
In the first hours after a passing, emotions often come before clarity. Families may experience sadness, shock, disbelief, or even moments of quiet reflection. Every response is a natural part of grief.
Before focusing on the many decisions ahead, it is okay to pause. Spending time with family, contacting close loved ones, or simply sitting together can provide comfort during an emotional moment. There will be practical matters to address, but there is no need to carry them alone.
Who Do I Contact First?
After contacting loved ones, family, and friends, who is the next person you should contact? This varies based on your situation.
Expected Death at Home with Palliative Care or Hospice
If your loved one passed at home and their death was expected, contact the nurse that is providing the care. They will confirm the passing, walk you through what happens based on arrangements discussed with the family.
Death at a Hospital or Nursing Home
If the death occurred in a hospital or care facility, notify the doctor or nurse on duty and the staff caring for your loved one will be able to guide you on who to contact next.
Unexpected or Sudden Death
Call 911. Police and paramedics are trained to determine if foul play or a crime may have occurred, or provide life saving measures if a person has a severe accident in an emergency situation. Paramedics will also be able to walk you through next steps if someone is officially pronounced deceased in an unexpected death.
From there, the next call is almost always the same: a funeral home or mortuary you trust to walk beside through what comes next. The provider will help transport and care for your loved one, and arrangements on next steps for a service can begin.
If you’re ever not sure where to start, you’re welcome to call us at Green Hills. We will help you find the right first step.
Contact a Funeral Home or Memorial Park You Trust
An experienced team can help explain what happens next and guide families through each step of the process.
Whether arrangements have already been made through Advance Planning or decisions still need to be discussed, having someone to answer questions and provide guidance can bring peace of mind during a difficult time. If your loved one completed Advance Planning, those documents often provide valuable direction about their wishes. Sharing them with your Advisor helps ensure those preferences are carried out exactly as intended, and can ease some of the decisions that lie ahead.
At Green Hills, our Advisors walk alongside families with compassion and care, providing information and helping families make thoughtful decisions at a pace that feels comfortable.
Gather Important Information
As arrangements begin, there are a few documents and pieces of information that may be helpful to have available. These may include:
- A photo ID
- Personal information such as date of birth and Social Security number
- Military service records, if applicable
- Advance Planning documents, if they have been completed
- Cemetery or memorial property information
Not every family will have everything immediately available, and that’s alright. Your Advisor can help explain what is needed and when it may be required, so you never have to figure it out on your own.
Lean on Family and Friends
Many people want to help after a loss but are unsure how to do so. Accepting support from family, friends, neighbors, or members of your community can ease some of the responsibilities during this time. Someone may offer to prepare a meal, make phone calls, help with childcare, or simply spend time with you.
These small acts of kindness often provide comfort in ways that are difficult to measure. Grief is not meant to be carried alone, and neither are the practical details.
Every Person Grieves Differently
There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Some people find comfort in talking openly about their loved one. Others prefer quiet reflection before sharing their thoughts. One family member may focus on planning while another may need time before making decisions.
Allowing space for each person to grieve in their own way helps create an environment of understanding and compassion. Showing patience with yourself and with one another is one of the greatest gifts a family can offer during this season.
Finding Comfort Through Remembrance
Many families discover that remembering a loved one becomes an important part of the healing process. Sharing stories around the dinner table, looking through old photographs, listening to favorite songs, or revisiting meaningful places can help preserve the memories that continue to connect generations.
Platforms such as Lyfe Plum provide a private space where photographs, videos, stories, and messages can be shared over time. Family members near and far can contribute their memories, creating a lasting tribute that continues to grow for future generations.
Support Continues Beyond the Service
The memorial service is an important opportunity to gather, reflect, and honor a loved one’s life. For many families, the journey through grief continues long after that day.
Some families may also find comfort through organizations such as OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center, The Compassionate Friends, New Hope Grief Support Community, or the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, which offers resources and referrals for those seeking additional support.
Everyone’s grief journey is unique. Finding the right support often begins with knowing that help is available when you are ready.
Taking One Step at a Time
The days following the loss of a loved one are filled with many emotions and responsibilities. It is important to remember that you do not have to navigate them all at once.
Taking one step at a time allows space for both practical decisions and personal moments of remembrance. Leaning on family, friends, and trusted professionals can make an overwhelming time feel a little more manageable. At Green Hills, our Advisors are here to provide guidance, answer questions, and help families honor the lives of those they love with compassion, dignity, and care.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the first steps after a passing?
One of the first steps is contacting a funeral home or memorial park that can guide you through the process. From there, families can begin gathering important information, notifying loved ones, and making arrangements at a pace that feels manageable.
What to do when someone passes away and you suspect a crime?
If you suspect something occurred that caused the unexpected death of someone, contact the local authorities first. It may be important to not move or touch the surrounding area as it may contain helpful information in the case of a crime. The authorities will talk to the appropriate contacts and facilitate the next steps.
What if my loved one completed Advance Planning?
If Advance Planning documents are available, they often provide valuable guidance regarding your loved one’s wishes. Sharing these documents with your Advisor can help ensure those preferences are honored.
How soon do funeral arrangements need to be made?
The timing varies depending on the family’s needs and circumstances. Your funeral home or memorial park can help explain the timeline and answer questions about what to expect.
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